Weight Loss
by Keenon
Summary: Deidara thinks he's getting fat and is dying over it. How's he supposed to loose weight! Working out no way...however, Sasori may have a suggestion.


By the way, in this fic Sasori is human (this is called _Fanfiction_, right?). It'll make everything easier. I'd also like to thank my older sister Emily (xcoreKoolAid) for the totally awesome story idea! It turned out so much easier to write than I first thought.

**Disclaimer-- I own nothing! Not Sasori, or Deidara, or Naruto, or anything else!**

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**Weight Loss**

A grimace painted Deidara's tanned face as he stared at the mirror in front of him. Sasori and him had just returned from a mission and Deidara decided he had needed a shower. Bad idea. Bringing up a mouthed hand he poked himself in the abdomen. Finger retracting ever so slightly. His frown became more pronounced. God, did he really look like that?

He's so _fat_!

With the cloak on he hadn't noticed it but now…it was different. Deidara's face wrinkled more, brow creasing into a deeper frown. No one could see him like this, screw the shower! Grabbing a more baggy shirt rather than the half top he usually wore Deidara set off to leave the lavatory. Muttered curses and grumbles about being overweight and the fatty of the Akatsuki crossing his thin pink lips.

No poor soul dared go near him when Deidara came sulking into the living room, snarling animalisticly at Hidan whom had been misfortunate enough to be sitting in his usual seat. The Jashinist in turn scrambled over beside Kakuzu, violet eyes widening ever so slightly. Deidara could be rather terrifying when he wanted. Not even Itachi dared go near him.

So there Deidara sat. Arms folded tightly across his chest, frown set in place, muttering curses and phrases even Hidan couldn't match. The day had began so nicely too…

Sasori and he had spent the night in wind country, by the border. Despite the older mans' complaints of hating his former home Deidara had insisted on staying. The inn was small but very adequate. It even had a small onsen in the back, the water a bubbling spring. Very soothing. Why hadn't Deidara noticed his sudden outgrowth then? Maybe because he was fighting with Sasori. The puppet master simply refused to get in the water. None the less, the break was refreshing.

Suddenly Deidara's reminiscence was shattered as he realized some one was staring at him. Snapping his focus up he glared ferociously at the one who dared bother him. His gaze matched everyone else's in the room. Damn! Couldn't he have any room without someone interfering? Huffing out an angry snort Deidara pushed up off the down couch. Sinking off back to Sasori and his shared room. The echo of his footfall crushing the once silent hall.

How was he going to drop this weight? Stop eating, hell no. Working out, no time. Walk instead of flying on his bird, out of the question. Deidara felt as if he could pull out his hair! This whole ordeal was infuriating! Stifling these overwhelming thoughts the blonde lifted an arm and yanked open the door to his small abode.

Sasori, who had been polishing off a puppet used in the last battle on the border of Ame, snapped to attention at the sudden noise. Turning his soft mocha eyes up to see who had disturbed the peace that had once enveloped their room. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but Deidara cut him off. Lifting his baggy shirt to reveal his 'fat'.

"**I'M FAT, UN!!**" He announced, screaming out his dilemma. Sasori only cocked a delicate scarlet eyebrow, carefully setting down his equipment. Curious.

"Who told you that?" the redhead asked in his monotone voice. Careful not to allow any feeling seep through. Deidara just looked at him as if to say 'it's the most obvious thing ever, no one needs to tell me'.

"No one, but look at me!" He poked his exposed abdomen as if to further prove himself. Finger sinking in ever so slightly. Sasori simply rolled his eyes, a rare gesture.

"Honestly, Dei, no one thinks you're fat. But if you think you are why don't you just work out or something?" Sasori suggested. Deidara immediately shook his head, blonde locks flailing around at the abrupt movement.

"No! I can't do that."

"Why not?" Deidara just brushed off this comment, shuffling over to his bed and flopping down on his belly. Burying his face into the soft down pillow as if embarrassed at his confrontation. Sasori once again rolled his eyes and stood from his bed, sauntering over to his blonde counterpart's.

"I know a resolution." that snagged Deidara's attention. Slowly he lifted his face from the comfortable blue pillow.

"Really? What, un?" A sly smile curled the puppet's face and he simply shrugged.

"Sex."

Deidara lifted an eyebrow. With who? Internally he wracked his brain for an answer but nothing came to him. So he turned his focus on the older man.

"With who, un? The only chick around here is Konan and I think she had Pein have something going on." He questioned, rolling over onto his back to get a better view of the man looming over him. Sasori shrugged.

"I'm open." He announced casually. Deidara wrinkled the bridge of his nose as he processed these words. Eyes then widening in realization. Had Sasori just asked him to have sex? A light flush painted his face, b-but he wasn't gay (A/N _riiiiiight…_)! Immediately he shook his head, marine eyes wide.

"Da-danna! I'm not gay!" He announced, too embarrassed to even tack on his traditional "un" at the end of his sentence. His cheeks painted scarlet. Sasori just shrugged again and stood up.

"Sure brat, your choice." He brushed this off as he walked over to the oak door, opening it and padded out into the hallway leaving a very flustered Deidara. The blonde rolled back over and hid his face once again. Shocked in the least over his danna's suggestion.

He was not gay…

Deidara kept repeating in the back of his head. A self proclaimed homophobe…He was brought up to believe gays were wrong. So why was he constantly noticing more and more little details about the redheaded scorpion? Like how deep the mahogany eyes were or how childish Sasori looked on the rare off times he smiled?

Damn it! Why was this so confusing?! Deidara bit back a groan. This whole wave of untold feelings would have just stayed locked away in the back of his head if he hadn't gained a few extra pounds. The young boy curled in on himself and hugged the pillow as if it would help ease this whirlpool of emotion. Of course it didn't.

Why the hell did Sasori have to be the one to stir all these feelings in him? Why couldn't Deidara be straight like he was taught to be? Damn rebellious spirit, damn Sasori and his attractiveness, and most of all damn this fat! God. He was so confused he could barely even think straight.

Night had enveloped the Akatsuki yet Deidara still couldn't rest. Constantly curling and rolling around in his bed. There was always something wrong. He was too hot, too cold, that arm was uncomfortable, this leg was going numb. He just simply couldn't sleep. And it was all Sasori's fault. Since their talk earlier that day Deidara couldn't get the older man out of his head!

But there was one thing he had straightened out.

He, Deidara, was not straight.

It had taken all day for him to admit this to himself but he finally got the point across. He also realized how, uh, _tempting_ Sasori was. Maybe because he found that the crimson haired man returned (or at least felt something) his feelings. Even now he was staring at the sleeping face of the puppet master. A blush crept across his face as he realized this. What if Sasori woke up?

Actually, Deidara was unsure if this would be a bad thing. What if the invitation was still open? A new swarm of questions hit the young bomber. He moaned ever so slightly, not again. Forcefully, he shoved back the comforter that was previously covering his slim frame. All these questions needed to be put to rest. Deidara nervously made his way across the room. Kneeling in front of Sasori's bed.

"Danna?" He whispered hoarsely, poking the man's shoulder. Immediately Sasori's eyes snapped open, mahogany eyes widened ever so slightly. Paranoid…it took a moment for him to realize there was no harm. Immediately he allowed the stoic façade to fall over his face as he sat up. Rubbing a sleepy eye and yawning.

"What is it brat?" He gasped out sleepily, slowly regaining senses. Deidara twittered his fingers for a moment, suddenly everything that he was going to ask died on his tongue.

"Ah, danna, uh…" He sputtered, "I changed my mine, un…" Sasori simply cocked an eyebrow in confusion as if he didn't understand what Deidara was implying. Then it was as if a light flickered on in his mind. Eyes widened ever so slightly, as if he hadn't been expecting that. Probably didn't actually…

"Seriously?" A hint of doubt colored the older man's tone. Deidara nodded ever so slightly, the blush on his cheeks becoming more pronounced. That was the only response Sasori needed, a sly smile playing his lips as he pulled the younger boy onto his mattress, Deidara landing on top of his warm body.

"Only if you're sure." Sasori asked solemnly. Deidara snickered.

"Danna, when am I not sure about anything, un?" He questioned, squirming a bit at the closeness. Not that he minded it of course. Sasori in turn smirked and drew a hand behind Deidara's head, plunging his digits into the silky mass of dandelion hair. Pulling down the younger's head for a kiss.

Before Deidara had a chance to respond his counterpart swiped his tongue across his lips, begging for an entrance. He obeyed. Closing his sapphire eyes and moaned into Sasori's sinful mouth. This felt so wrong yet so _good_. The older man's tongue then proceeded to excavate Deidara's cavern. He felt the coolness slipping around his teeth and bit back another sigh. So good.

Finally Sasori pulled back when both of their lungs screamed for air. Panting heavily Deidara stared, dazed, up at his partner. Why was this so sweet? As soon as they caught each other's eyes both were launched back into a passionate embrace, tongues dancing together. Sasori's fingers trailed up and down Deidara's sides down to his hips. He couldn't help but lightly close his eyes, whimpering for more. Sasori chuckled and slipped his hands under the ridicules baggy cotton shirt Deidara was wearing. He then leaned forward to whisper in the younger mans' ear after pulling off the denim colored tee.

"Dei-kun, are you hard?" Deidara then moaned, leaning forward and burying his face in the crook of Sasori's neck. As if embarrassed over his eagerness. Sasori chuckled again and brushed his fingers across the ever growing bulge in the younger mans' loose pants. Deidara bit his lower lip to stifle the gasp that built up in his throat.

Sasori crawled all over the young blonde. Planting kisses and love bites everywhere his lips could peck, leaving Deidara gasping for breath. God, why did this feel so good? The puppet master's sinful mouth danced all over the heated chest, finally stopping above Deidara's left nipple. His soft mahogany eyes glancing up from under long sooty lashes. It might have been one of the sexiest things the blond had ever seen.

After what seemed like an eternity Sasori allowed his gaze to fall back to the task at hand. Dipping down to take the soft appendage into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it. Turning it into a hardened bead in seconds. Deidara gasped sharply, his grasp on the bed sheets below him tightening till his knuckles became white as he learned how skilled that tongue _really_ was. He could barely stifle the moan that built up in his chest as he pictured what _else_ that tongue could do…

But that would all come in good time.

Once Sasori had grown tired of violating that nipple he began to roam once again. Trailing back up to the base of Deidara's neck, nipping at the ever so sensitive skin there. Rewarded with a blissful sigh from the man under him. The boy could barely stand it. Why hadn't they done this before? He should have swallowed all that homophobia crap _far_ sooner. Cracking open a single cerulean eye to stare at his partner through the haze of pleasure.

With a flick of the wrist Deidara's pants and silken boxers vanished, but the bomber was too far lost in the throes of pleasure to care. Sasori then knelt down further to capture Deidara's lips with bruising force. Teeth bumping as they kissed fervently.

It took all of five seconds for the young bomber to realize what his redheaded counterpart was planning and before he could even voice a protest a hand traced erratic circles down Deidara's thigh, trailing down the destine pelvis bone and abdomen muscles. Finally coming to a halt dangerously close to the base of Deidara's manhood. A sadistic smile then played Sasori's thin pink lips.

"Beg for me Dei-kun." Sasori urged as he teasingly traced up the length in spiraling motion, stopping to lightly flick the tip. Deidara shuddered at the sensation.

"Ooo-woh, Danna! Pleeease, un!" The tortured boy moaned through gritted teeth. Sasori, satisfied with the response, grasped the length and immediately began pumping. Receiving gasps and heady groaned for his efforts.

Deidara was in pleasure paradise! It took all he had not to scream out when the pumping became faster. The first droplets of pre-cum spilling down. A surprised gasp escaped him, eyes widening in a mixture of pleasure and shock as the hand that had previously been stroking him was replaced with a mouth. Sucking and lapping at the hard flesh.

"Sasori--" he moaned, hands releasing the sheets and flying into the messy crimson mass that was Sasori's hair. Knotting his digits in the velvety mop . Screwing his eyes tightly shut.

"Hmm…" The older man hummed in response. Immediately Deidara's eyes snapped open. Gasping out and moaning all at once.

"O-oh God Danna! What the hell was that?! Do-…do it again." Deidara sputtered out, voice practically dripping with lust and need. Sky blue eyes hazed, golden hair fanned out behind him.

Sasori bit back a chuckle, sensing the younger was close. Once again he deep throated the blonde, adding a rhythmic hum that reverberated throughout his mouth. The poor boy under him could barely take it all at once. Moaning and thrashing. Begging for a release.

With one final scream white hot liquid pleasure exploded throughout Deidara's loins. Only then did Sasori draw back. Swallowing the cum in his mouth gracefully before scrambling back up his soon-to-be lovers' body. Planting kisses across the flat abdomen and toned chest. Only allowing himself a brief look at Deidara's glazed, lust filled expression, mouth slightly agape, eyes half lidded. If Sasori hadn't been turned on moments ago he sure as hell was now.

"God Deidara." He placed a chaste kiss on Deidara's neck, whispering into the younger man's ear. "Do you know what you do to me?"

He could feel a shiver ripple down Deidara's spine at the raw sexual lust that coated his tone. Reaching down he yanked off his own boxers. Capturing Deidara's swollen lips into his own as he finally positioned himself at the bomber's entrance. He moaned into the older man's mouth. Craving the sweet friction that was sure to come.

Suddenly Sasori pulled back, Deidara cracking open a single eye and groaning in displeasure at the sudden loss of contact. He opened his mouth to protest and demand why the puppet master ceased his fondling but he was cut short.

"Tell me what you want Dei-chan." Sasori crooned into Deidara's ear, nipping the sensitive shell before moving down and taking the lobe into his mouth. Sucking. Snaking one conspicuous hand down to brush Deidara's still erect manhood. Bidding a goodbye to the last shreds of his dignity Deidara gasped out.

"Ooo! Sasori no Danna! Please! Please take me, fuck me, ohhhhh I want you so bad!" Deidara begged raking his nails down Sasori's naked back as he arched forward. Bare chest pressed upon his partners'.

Sasori seemed to accept this answer for he then smiled, without further hesitation he plunged into the heated cavern. Biting down hard on his lower lip to keep himself from moaning. Dear God! Deidara was so tight, the way his muscles clamped down was so sweet. A stifled moan escaped the redhead as he leaned forward to kiss away the tears that spilled out of Deidara's tightly shut eyes.

After a few moments of silence the uke finally gave a brief nod in signal to continue. Sasori needed no extra encouragement. Forcefully pulling out and sliding back in. Grunting softly.

After a few thrusts Deidara's strangled gasp for air became moans and heady groans of pleasure as Sasori began hitting his prostate dead on.

"Ah!" He cried out uncontrollably. Why did this have to feel so sinfully good? Sasori smirked at the response, simply glad to have the blond calling out once again. The silence was unbearable, even for such a recluse like him.

"Say my name Dei-chan." Sasori whispered huskily into Deidara's ear, reaching down to stroke the younger man in time with each thrust. The blond tossed his head, hair flying at the sudden jerking movement. Every movement was pure bliss! It made him mentally hit himself for not begging for intercourse sooner than now.

"Sassssssssorii!" Deidara screamed, gasping for breath. Seeing stars at every impact. God this was good! Sasori in turn growled headily, leaning forward to bite the nape of his lover's neck. Feeling Deidara's nails scrabble down his back, desperate to grab onto something. _Anything_! He just needed to try and recollect his nerves.

Every attempt was shattered as soon as the older man began to grind into him. Everything mingling together was _unbearable_! Deidara screamed out.

"Danna! I'm going to--!" Before he could even finish his sentence a fresh wave of pleasure barreled into him. Knocking him over the edge. Exploding on both of their chests, covering them with his seed. Sasori could only manage a few more thrusts before the muscles tightened around him and he too hit could nine. Head lolling back as he gasped Deidara's name.

After moments of silence as both gasped for air Deidara caught Sasori's eye. An unspoken understanding passed through them and the older craned his neck to capture the sculpture in another passionate kiss. Unsheathing himself from the tight cavern, rapidly flipping the pair over so Deidara was on top before he wrapped his arms around the lithe waste. The younger man rested his head on the olders' chest. Eyes fluttering shut.

"Sasori-danna?"

"Yeah?" Sasori's wood colored eyes trailed down to look at the top of Deidara's head, unable to see the sweaty face.

"I-I love you, un…" The grip on him tightened and Deidara turned to bury his face into Sasori's chest, as if nervous of the redhead's answer. A soft, genuine smile touched the puppet master's face and he too tightened his grip on the bomber's slim frame.

"I love you to, brat." Deidara's gaze snapped up to look at Sasori's face, probing for any hint of sarcasm. The older chuckled and planted another chaste kiss on Deidara's lips. A smile crept on the blonde's face to mirror Sasori's as he turned back to laying his head on the torso below him. Both closing their eyes to rest after the fatiguing lovemaking they previously shared. Then it hit him. Sasori snaked a hand up to hold Deidara's chin, forcing the blonde to look at him. As if remembering something important he needed to share.

"One more thing Dei-chan…You are not fat." The last conscious thing he remembered was a soft, angelic chuckling and a soft barely audible…

_"I love you."_

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Yay! I actually wrote something like..._this. _I never thought I could actually write a lemon, or hard core yaoi (well, it's not exactly _great _but I'm quite proud of this one) but what the most...different, thing about this story is that...well...I wrote the smut in the middle of school. Yeah. I'm a freak, I know, but when inspiration hits I have to write. Even if it means I'm wiritng about hot yaoi buttsecks in the middle of helium nitrate discussions then hell yes I'ma go for it (don't tell me you'd rather learn about crappy balloons rather than Sasori and Deidara getting it on).

Anyway, thanks Emi for the great story idea, your ideas are amazing as usual.

And please review! You know that yaoi is delicious and it helps the writer get inspirated to write more stuff like this (_wink wink_)


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